Reflecting on the Past by Tim Parkinson
Reflecting on the past is something older people do more than younger people. That makes sense.
During my life, I have always enjoyed talking with senior citizens. I particularly like asking people, older than myself, questions that would take them a while to answer. Usually, this will get them remembering and reminiscing about days gone by and sharing their revived thoughts about the past.
Stories
Why would I want to do that? Usually, but not always, their response comes out in the form of a story, one that’s filled with their past feelings and aspirations, which leads me to more questions. In a short time, you can find out why people turned out the way they now are. This is a way of getting to know someone more intimately. A way to empathize.
Pastor John Osteen would say, “Don’t judge anyone, until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” and another I remember, “It’s better to learn from somebody else’s mistakes.”
Questions
Examples of questions I might ask are:
What did your dad do for a living?
What did you do in the summer when you were younger?
Where did you grow up?
Then I sit back and listen. I only ask more questions when they start slowing down.
Some people don’t ever think about what a wonderful life they’ve had, unless they’re given the opportunity to talk about it.
Reflecting
Reflecting is something I shall attempt to do for a little while here, so excuse me if I begin to ramble…
I grew up without a father being present, except around Christmas time and random weeks he was in town. Other than those days, I don’t know where he lived. He always seemed like a good guy and I didn’t have to obey him, because he wasn’t around much. We talked with each other a lot. Most of the time, he’d was just checking up on how our lives were going. I don’t hold anything against him for leaving us to be raised by my mother, she was a nag.
Pro 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Pro 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Doing what others tell you to
Growing up, for me, was not very pleasant in a home without love. In retrospect, I think my Dad left because he wanted to find love. He wanted to love and be loved in return. So he left my mother (to raise his five kids) and left his home town to have a happy life. I can’t fault him for this, but it made growing up hard for all of his kids.
My Dad was raised religiously. He believed salvation was determined by being baptized as a member of the church and saying your prayers.
- Religion’s job is to make you always feel like you’re not doing a good enough job at life.
- Religion tells you what to do (whether you want to do it or not).
In our faith, we believe God gives us the ability to discern what we should do, if we choose to follow his directions (the Bible, the Word, God’s word, the Living Word) and He watches to see if we follow through with it. He also helps us to do the right thing.
Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
Rom 8:27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
People who do things God’s way, will find things working out, because that’s just the way God is. This doesn’t always happen the way we think it should. Patience will help us through until He makes all things new. (Rev 21:5) Stress should be avoided while making life decisions. We need to shun stress.
Following God’s instructions
If my dad could’ve gotten direction from God or God’s word, rather than than religion, and taken it, my family might have become a loving family. Instead we were raised by a nonbelieving mother, who let us know how she was suffering having to raise five little monsters. She also let us know when we turned 18, she was “kicking us out”, so she could enjoy the rest of her life. I still feel sorry that she “suffered” so, having to raise 5 children, because I have since learned that the Bible teaches us that:
Psa 127:1 Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Psa 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Psa 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psa 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Psa 127:5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
- Faith in God’s word can take us a long way.
- We shouldn’t labor to believe in His promises. He brings them to pass.
- We can often be His biggest obstacles.
1Th 5:24 Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
Reacting to circumstances
So many people live “reactive” lives. They are always reacting to what they see and hear in the media, from family and friends comments. They are urged to take some kind of action immediately.
I agree with the old sayings, “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear” and “Have faith in God, all others pay cash”.
I believe the word of God is exactly that. God gave us these words of wisdom, inspiration and promise to help us to make wise choices in life, if we choose to act on them. He doesn’t force us to do His will, but encourages us to. These living words contain the power and supernatural energy to change our lives, if we will do things His way. We make things harder we “pre-decide” how God should do things and we try to help Him or even pray to God “My will be done”.
Most people’s problem is they want God to agree with what they’re doing, because they have righteous intentions.
- That is bad thinking.
- It will not lead to a good outcome.
We need to learn from the parable of the Sower.
To be good soil we must receive the seed (God’s word)
Into our hearts as what it is, The Truth for us and to us.
Mat 13:23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.
I feel sorry for people who have missed God’s best and are now missing His best, because they haven’t heard God’s word for them. It’s good to hear that God loves you, but another thing to hear that God’s ready to get you out of the mess you’ve gotten yourself into.
I’m grateful that God has gotten me out of plenty of messes. I love the fact that, He’s persistently trying to get us to do His will. If we do it and not fear it.
Php 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
But we can hold back, by continuing to asking God for confirmation for the same questions He’s already spoken to us about.
A Father’s Advice
Looking back, I realize that the fatherly advice I missed when growing up is available to everyone in the Word of God. Proverbs 3&4 should be essential reading for everyone who grew up without a father present to guide them.
Here just a part of it’s fatherly advice.
Pro 3:1 My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
Pro 3:2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
Pro 3:3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
Pro 3:4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Pro 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Pro 3:7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
Pro 3:8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
And
Pro 4:20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
Pro 4:21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
Pro 4:22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
God’s word has and always will give us guidance in our life decisions. It up to each of us to do what we know in our hearts is the right thing to do.
Often what’s helpful is some patience, consideration, some reflection and some prayer, before taking action on our decisions. Having faith and not taking action is like having no faith.
If we take the time to remember what we’ve heard and learned by what has been said by others, their feelings, aspirations and advice, we can live a better life today by learning from their mistakes and applying their wisdom.
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